Teen Practice

“Adolescence is like having only enough light to see the step directly in front of you.”

—The Girl Who Chased the Moon

I work with adolescents individually, with parents/guardians separately, or with the whole family together to help you each maneuver the obstacles that come with this developmental period. I view adolescent work with a family systems lens, meaning I view the individual’s problems as influenced by and occurring within the context of their family relationships. So, even if we decide that I meet with your teenager on a weekly basis, I still like to have, at minimum, quarterly check-ins with the parents/guardians.

For Teens:

I choose to work with your population out of deep respect and empathy. This is one of the hardest chapters, and you have to go through it while so much change is happening inside you. I often hear in my practice how difficult it is to try to communicate what you are feeling, only to be misunderstood, or to fear speaking up at all for this very reason. Whether you are navigating difficulty connecting with your parents, complicated, ever-shifting friendship/social dynamics, academic pressures, anxiety, your relationship with your self-worth/confidence, or are figuring out who you are or want to be, I want to be here to listen and hold it with you, as a trusted, separate individual, so you don’t have to hold it all yourself.

For Parents:

This is a challenging developmental moment. Your child is figuring out how much they need you and how much they want to be separate from you, as you are figuring out how tightly you want to hold new boundaries and processing the emotional impact of the profound shift in the roles in your relationship. It is often hard for a teen to anticipate or acknowledge when they need help, which simultaneously rubs up against the part of them that is trying desperately to individuate. Part of your child wants to relinquish you as their main attachment and have you step back so they can develop more on their own, while another part of them simultaneously wants mentorship and support during this time of growth, when they might very much need support, which creates a dilemma.

This is where I see my role entering—to hopefully provide a transitional environment while they leave childhood and embark upon adolescence; your child wants to feel more autonomous, and my goal will be to provide a space to help them do that important, normative work. Ironically, when a kid goes through this transition and has another neutral place to go where they don’t regress into childhood dynamics with their parents, that is what can actually allow for less pressure to arise in their relationship with you and help them communicate with you more and rely on you more. I see the child’s primary bond with you as extremely important, and I will also be here in the meantime as that bond, appropriately, detaches from their childhood ways of relating, so it can reattach in a more mature way that feels supportive to them.

It is important to me that as I support your child, you feel supported, too. In our parent sessions, I look forward to getting to know the impacts of your child’s development on you and hearing your thoughts, feelings, and hypotheses about why you think they are responding to the many pressures at this juncture in the way that they are. You know your child better than anyone and are an invaluable resource to supporting them, and you as a family unit.